Nick's blog
Nothing!
| For those of you interested in what is going on with me, I have this to say: Nothing. I can send you a video to prove it. You know what would be on the video? Nothing. No big ideas. No socializing. No sex. I don't own a television. So when I am doing nothing, it really is nothing. Oh, occasionally I look at stuff on youtube, but what I watch is essentially nothing, totally void of real content. It's like my brain except fancier. I know there is a big political campaign going on, but politics are gay. I don't really care. You know what a new president will do for this world? Nothing. Holy shit. That means I could be President.  If I were president I would make press conferences interesting so they would get posted on youtube and tons of people would watch them and all the posts would get five stars. "Mr. President, what is your first order of business?" To masturbate in the oval office, then I am going to dry hump the oval desk. Next question. "Thank you, Mr. President. I don't really have a question. I just want you to know that the desk in the oval office is actually more rectangle in shape." So is your mom's vagina. Next question." "Mr. President, what will be your biggest challenge over the next four years?" I would say not going number two in my pants. Oops, too late. By the way, I will be in Erie Pennsylvania on Friday and Huntington, West Virginia on Saturday for the Bob and Tom Tour. |
Bob and Tom tour
i did the bob and tom tour this weekend.
who was on the tour with me?
paul mecurio, dwayne perkins, greg warren and drew hastings.
bob zany was there too.
he was hawking product in the lobby when the above pic was taken.
but here he is backstage.
1 win, 4 losses and 1 draw
when i was fourteen i saw the professional boxer tommy "hitman" hearns
for the first time.
i'm not sure who he fought, maybe pipino cuevas.
anyway, hitman looked like a bad motherfucker.
i was fourteen and a virgin.
i wanted to be a bad motherfucker.
so i started boxing.
but when i boxed i didn't look like a bad motherfucker.
i weighed a hundred and nineteen pounds.
i just looked sickly.
my amateur record was 1 win, 4 losses and 1 draw.
which means i was a bad fighter, not a bad motherfucker.
here are two bad motherfuckers in debatably the greatest round in the
history of boxing.
enjoy.
TOMMY HEARNS IS IN GOLD TRUNKS
Drew Hastings
another week.
another hotel room.
another sixty three cups of coffee.
let my friend drew hastings tell you more:
Cows, Guns, and Hummus
I've been in New York City for the last two weeks.
That's where I keep my bed.
I've been doing sets and eating hummus.
I walk a lot here.
1 guy had a gun the other night.
He didn't point it at me, just showed it to me, even though I didn't know him.
He appeared smelly and cranky.
I suppose if you're going to be smelly and cranky, it's better to be armed.
Normal guy says, "Dude, why don't you take a bath?"
Smelly cranky guy says, "Because I have a fucking gun."
Normal guy runs away.
I don't carry a gun.
I'm afraid I'll accidentally kill someone
(a person talking on the phone while ordering coffee in front of me)
and get sent to prison.
Then I will have to use the toilet in front of other men.
I'm on the road a lot in September.
Orlando, Indianapolis, Charlotte.
I'll have more to report soon.
Here is a video of my favorite band of all time. Cows.
Enjoy.
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