I've been in New York City for the last two weeks.
That's where I keep my bed.

I've been doing sets and eating hummus.

I walk a lot here.
1 guy had a gun the other night.

He didn't point it at me, just showed it to me, even though I didn't know him.
He appeared smelly and cranky.
I suppose if you're going to be smelly and cranky, it's better to be armed.

Normal guy says, "Dude, why don't you take a bath?"
Smelly cranky guy says, "Because I have a fucking gun."
Normal guy runs away.

I don't carry a gun.
I'm afraid I'll accidentally kill someone
(a person talking on the phone while ordering coffee in front of me)
and get sent to prison.

Then I will have to use the toilet in front of other men.

I'm on the road a lot in September.

Orlando, Indianapolis, Charlotte.

I'll have more to report soon.
Here is a video of my favorite band of all time. Cows.
Enjoy.

I was in Chicago last week.
I did stand up, and caught the flu and ate McDonald's (Big Mac Meal with an extra cheeseburger).
So then I had the flu and a stomach ache.
I'm a dummy.

I didn't see a whole lot of the town because I was sick and apathetic
and working on stuff in my room that didn't pan out.

Nevertheless, the crowds and staff were cool.

Here is a picture of two women who thought I was very funny.

They brought dates or husbands.
That was not very nice of them.

I had trouble sleeping.
So I just sat there in my room, not sleeping.
I tried to watch television but nothing was on except diarhea.
Not real diarhea, just programming that felt like diarhea.

Diarhea.

What has been going on?
Plenty.
Why didn't I blog sooner.
Tired, apathetic, distracted. (I found out they have pictures of naked women on the internet.)

George Carlin died.
It sucks, because he was so goddamn good at stand up.

I got to work with him a couple of times.

He was nice and honest and funny and still working his ass off to get better.
It was inspiring to watch him.

I did the Late Show with David Letterman for the fourth time.
It went very well.

Here I am with (the incredibly cool) Michelle and John,
the hair and makeup people on the show.

You heard me right. I am wearing makeup.

I did The Great American Comedy Festival in Norfolk, Nebraska.
Got to see some great comics.
Jim McDonald.
Joe DeRosa.
James Smith.
Deacon Gray.
Jeff Caldwell.

I got to meet Dick Cavett and Robert Klein.

What else?
Same old stuff.
Drinking coffee.
Writing jokes.
Doing stand up.
Feeling uncomfortable.
Sneaking cigs.

I have nothing to complain about.
I do anyway though.

I'll be at The Gotham Comedy Club this week, then Zanies in Chicago,
then other places where they serve beer and serve jalapeno poppers.

Hope you are well.

If not, there are beers and various drugs, prescription and otherwise, to give you some other options.

Much Luck,
Nick